You do everything you can to be an amazing parent, but nobody’s perfect. No matter how sensitive, attuned, and attentive you are, you and your child are bound to have some misunderstandings. Given that you are a human being, you might even make mistakes in your parenting. These moments are formally called “misattunements” (we call them Mix-Ups). They happen all the time, creating varying degrees of stress and frustration.

Learning how to get back in tune with each other is just as valuable to your relationship as actually being in tune with each other. In fact, a history of successfully repairing Mix-Ups helps strengthen the bond between you and your child. Repairing Mix-Ups fosters his resilience. Your child can tolerate many Mix-Ups, as long as reattunement (or Fix-Ups) takes place. Through these moments of repair, you and your child learn that you can manage upsetting feelings. This may be a source of relief to parents who worry that they are not “perfect parents.”